Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Creative Discipline

I believe in creative discipline techniques. There, I said it. I have a few rules about punishment...and if you know me and my parenting strategies well, you know that I have a lot of rules. First, I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. I think that the punishment should be tailored to the child and not universal for all. I believe that you have to know what effects your child the most. For some it is a spanking, some its time-out, taking away toys, or any other avenue that works - frankly. But most importantly, punishment should be given not in anger, it should result in an understanding of what was wrong, what should be done differently and it should ALWAYS result in an apology.

Chris and I read a great Christian book once, I think it was titled "Don't Make Me Count to Three" and it changed our lives for the better. Though it advocates spanking (as do I unapologetically if the situation warrants it) it is mostly about the correction of the problem and learning that by disobeying Mom and Dad, the child is more importantly disobeying God. Great lesson for children!

And since I said that this blog would be "for better or worse" I am going to be brutally honest here. Today I had hit my limit. Sophia comes home every day and she and Anna start fighting non-stop. I just won't allow that to continue, so I needed some creative discipline. I have made them in the past link arms, back-to-back and sit until they could be nice. Today I needed something with a little more contact. I made them stand in a hugging position and tied them up.....with a scarf.....very loosely.....to which they could easily get out although they knew better than to even try!!! Then I got out the camera and began my own photo shoot to document the absurdity that followed. I obviously should have put the camera on an action setting since they were busy thrashing around crying in desparation. But, I did capture the moment well I think. You will see that in the beginning, they were crying. Then they were just plain mad, then they finally calmed down, made up and even gave me a little smile. Then I untied them and they went down stairs and began to play together.
I realize that to some this may seem outrageous, but sometimes as a mom, you do what you have to do to teach your children to not just play together, but to truly love each other and be close friends. Will it work long-term? I sure hope so. If not, I'll try something else. It's too important to give up!

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm... Maybe by the time I become a parent you can give me some good Hand-me-down ideas for creative learning with lifes little lessons!