She spent every waking minute of her day near one of us. She followed me around everywhere I went and spent her nights sleeping in our bed, near our bed, or over the last year or two she would sleep in bed with Isabella. That's where she had the most room!
She lived to love. What other purpose in life is there really?
Our kids have struggled. Isabella is all heart and is super sensitive. She'll burst into tears at any given moment which usually sets off Anna. Sam talks matter-of-factly, as only a four year-old can, about seeing her in Heaven someday. Sophia. Oh, my sweet, Sophia. Sadie was her very best friend. And a month later, she is still crying herself to sleep. It is devastating as a parent to watch, but I know it's so very important for her to learn to grieve. She is not an emotional child at all. So when she's sobbing, it cuts deep for me.
I tried explaining how some great grandparents had passed away in years past and that it hurt a lot at first, but slowly we healed some and could remember the great times with them and hurt a little less. She said, "Mom, those were relatives, Sadie is family." Ugggh. It's true. She is family. And it hurts. A lot.
I promised the kiddos I'd put together a photo album of pictures of Sadie that they could look through anytime they want. We had a small scrapbook from our "before kids" and "before digital cameras" stage. I scanned those pages into my computer and started going through the other 10 years of digital pictures. I had over 900 pictures with Sadie in them. Yikes! I narrowed that down to about 140 and made a Shutterfly album. Thankfully, that will come in the mail soon. But you can view it on my blog at the very bottom of the page. Feel free to look over it - but be warned, it really is a condensed version of the last 10 years of our life. Four babies, four homes, three different towns. And a whole lot of love!
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